Happiness

so beautiful. 

rebellyus:

I can’t stress enough how much weight that word holds for me. Being somebody that’s battled depression
my whole life, and tried many different ways to beat it, from prescribed meds, to self medication. The word ‘happiness’
has almost been a myth for me. I was happy through the ups, but the lows would make me crash. Needless to say,
I never “really” had it figured out.

Every time something BIG would happen for me, I would be ecstatic. We celebrate; smoke, drink, roll.. any recipe to fade reality.
Something to help me hold this feeling forever. When in reality, this was only a temporary happiness that would soon fade,
and give way to the dull feeling of everyday.

The lows had me rock bottom. Alone, in tears. Unable to write, or think clearly. Questioning my very existence. Dramatic; I know,
but sincere nonetheless.

As recently as a few months, I realized that happiness depends on ME. I cant depend on it. I need to be happy just because. Depending
on a ‘life changing event’ to make you happy is a recipe for insanity. These days, I wake up smiling, not because something happened,
but because I get to see another day. The beauty of life is the mystery and I can’t wait to see what tomorrow has in store for me. Good or bad,
all I can be is ready.

Be ready. Don’t lie and say, “I’ve been through it all”. Truth is, if you had, you wouldn’t be here. There’s still a lot more to go through.
Embrace it all. Smile through anything, and you’ll make it through everything.